Our strengths!

I’ve been waiting for myself to get the guts to write. I even told myself earlier today that I couldn’t share this part of me yet.

But then here I am. And I can’t say it’s just my guts alone. A friend of mine told me to write it out, that I communicate better here and another friend asked me to share a part of me. So here I am, with their strength, I’m ready to therapise myself in one of the ways I know. Writing as my heart and mind dictate.

Again, someone made me remember that humans aren’t perfect and we shouldn’t expect them to be. That mere fact hasn’t ever stopped any of us to once in a while get caught up in a fallacy of perfection and high hopes. We forget, we are human after all. I had that. I had hope, I had trust. To me those are the important things. Love comes with ease with those. But somewhere, I had all those hopes slammed in my face, trust thrust out of me like a rocket setting off for the far space. The inertia of it was something I thought I couldn’t take. And I couldn’t. For a while. Because for a moment, I had my spirit taken from me, my mind dimmed with anger and negativity. It burned.

The light of hope never left me but it struggled behind the darkness of rage and disappointment. Despite the whirls of my mind to conjure up scenarios of how it could’ve been worse and excuses for the pain, it didn’t physically leave. My insides churned. And then it dawned on me that if I am to fight this darkness, I had to use a light. And this light was forgiveness. If I could remove the blame and take in the situation in it’s reality, I could survive it. And that’s how I went through it.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things, sometimes we want to, we convince ourselves to forgive ourselves and those we think wronged us, but it doesn’t come easy. It takes a while for the backfiring inertia to wear off. It takes time to convince our brains that there wasn’t any other way, that it couldn’t have been different. That we couldn’t have done something different or anything differently and we forget that this life isn’t all about the choices we ourselves make. That there are other forces to it. Well at least that’s my theory now, and things aren’t black and white but in different and many shades of grey or color.

Pain changes us, but change is a force or life, time heals and changes too. And it doesn’t always mean it will be a bad ending or beginning, it could be something new and different. Let the change be positive and if negative (I do have a partially negative change in me) let it not alter the good and the cores of our personalities. If everything that hurt us were to change us, then over time many of us would be moulded into something unrecognizable, something vile. But we hurt, we heal and mould ourselves back to who we want to be. Not what situations want us to be. If a moment defines you, then you enslave yourself to the potential of others.

We live, we hurt, we heal and we change. We learn, we grow and we evolve. We forgive and hope. We make mistakes. We aren’t perfect. We love, we hate but it’s all that makes us human. A friend of mine quoted

What is life without a little pain?”

It was only later that I realised, that it is these moments that challenge us that make us learn and grow. The good ones do too, but these moments when we are low, when it hurts that we discover the deep and great strengths hidden with in us. We channel our minds and work them and somewhere there is always a solution. I was drowning in my thoughts, but man only has so much control. And realising that is also a strength I’ve found in me. Forgiving is one I’ve always believed in and I’m discovering more of it. Friends and those willing to shoulder us when we cry are strength and blessing. Hope, my greatest strength. Hope in myself and hope in you. If I don’t ever lose that, I guess I’ll always live to afford another smile or wish to make someone smile. And to me, that is something worth living for!

So for the many of you, going through things, it may never be entirely good or perfect. The pain, the hurt, disappointments, rage etcetera, will come and go, sometimes linger but if we can channel our strengths and fight to rise above it, it will be easier with time, and it will leave us better people in the end. I hope.

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10.10

Hey, there! I come with glad tidings today and they are from a couple of days ago. A number of years ago, on 10th of the tenth month, a star (read: normal child) was born. Her light shined bright across the sky (read: her cry resonated through the hospital walls) as she took in gasps of the planet’s fresh (read: polluted) air. Her mother couldn’t have been happier to see this beautiful creature, so fragile and delicate. Frail but all too real. Right there was the child who would make, make what? I’m not sure, we’ll have to ask the star’s mother on that!

So, a couple of days ago several years later, this star. Okay let’s break the ice, that star is me. Yeah I know you’re probably thinking I don’t come off as a bright light or shiny ball of condensed air hung up in the sky, shining next to the moon but then, I felt bright and shining. There wasn’t much to brag about. In fact I prayed that there wouldn’t be anything, I mean the kind of pressure that comes of with birthdays, so fretting. But in the midst of all the birthday wishes, the sweet nothings and happiness I received from people around me, i felt the dimmed lighter flicker back on. It wasn’t something long lived and i was sure it wouldn’t. To be honest, I started writing this post several days ago, on 11th of October, but have been procrastinating it. it was saved to my drafts and when I had a flow of negative energy, i quickly penned the Addictions 👎❌ – read here! post so I realized the power i have to write negativity is stronger for me than sharing my happy and very positive moments which isn’t at all fair. So this morning I’m embarking on this, much as things seem sketchy now and the adrenaline and hormones I had from the excitement on that day have completely waned off so i can’t really convey how great it was again. Basically I missed my chance to. I will not however, cry over this milk that I spilled myself and hopefully next year, I’ll remember to write in the moment.

So as it goes, birthdays are special, one day that occurs every year, well…I’ve never really been a fan. Growing up, these aren’t things my family dotted upon. It was just any other day, no big party, or food, or outings. Maybe an occasional mention by a few people and question of my new age, and maybe for some exceptional 2 birthdays when I was turning 11 and 16 where home people decided I could have some cake and even then, it was really minor. The 16th came as a double to wish me success in my exams. Otherwise it has always been just any other day (with exception for this year and the previous two birthdays when i was at university)! And honestly I don’t mind that, in fact I don’t know how to act when it has to feel like some other day in contrast to any other day. Like I said, it is kind of fretting but again very exciting as I’ve learned. I don’t really exactly know how to feel about it.

And since I can’t (read: won’t) recollect all the events of 10.10 this year, I can still remember the exhilarating feeling of having my light flickering, center of attention and the baby for the day, in fact, for the next day as well. Had cake which was lovely and wish I could share it with you my reader, in spirit maybe. Friends who haven’t contacted me for a while made a show and I’m glad that in a way this beautiful (read: dreaded) day has some incentives to it. My mom (shocker!) called to wish me a good one and so did other “home” people. There was also the major benefit of, how can I phrase it, uncommon word being said to me…lovely messages that got all my endorphins riled up and got me through the day. I had class for half the day, then the other half doing official responsibilities and it was in the evening, worn out that i enjoyed the niceties of friendship and love. but all in all I was glad and appreciative of this beautiful day and all the ones that made it special, really special for me. I’m grateful I made a new age and I think I should draft up just as many resolutions as my age (oh my, those are going to be too many!) to get through the year.

Thank you and to the new age, cheers!

Addictions 👎❌

Have you ever had something crawl under your skin? I do, and it’s this pathetic feeling. A toxin infecting my cells from within. Darkening them with fear and loathe.

The feeling of dependency. In our (my) life, there are some aspects, things that we feel we can’t do without. Like a painkiller, they can take away momentary pain but in their absence, their sooth wears off. How pathetic to have something you depend on like that.

That is me right now, wishing the walls could close in on me, the earth swallow me up so that I don’t feel like a needy fragile thing. This isn’t me. Not how my mind works and if it is, well whatever path it’s taking isn’t right for me. So I need to change the tracks for the train of thoughts, my body and moods to take.

Depending on something that in it’s absence makes you a nuisance makes you an addict and I can’t take that. I won’t take that. Even if the addiction takes me to the highest of heights.

Changing tracks just like any change isn’t a process, I read in a book. It’s just a moment taken to change something. Acknowledging and accepting the change is the process. Well, making the decision and choice of change is hard sometimes if not most times for the lot of us but to get where we have and need to be, we got to. We have to quit.

And I am going to make that change. Hard as it may, painful as it will feel to let go to flush the pills down the drain, I have to break the unending cycle of the weather in me. I have to even it out. I have to find myself. I have to stabilize my mental state and have my physical potential at its best. This is me doing something good for me regardless of what it may do to you. This is me being my selfish self to only depend on me. This is me choosing me. This is me making me the center of my life.

Addicted….

I’m doing alright

Then why does my heart ache

I’m not crying

Then why are my eyes welling with tears

I’m not angry

Then why do I feel bitter

I don’t hate you

Then why does the though of you hurt

In fact I love you

Then why does that feel like a burden to me

I want to understand

Then why can’t my mind fathom

I want to be free

Then why am I in a cage

I want to laugh

Then why is it hard to

I want to choose me

Then why do I always choose you

I want to be good

Then why am I not

I want you to be happy

And that won’t happen with the weather in me

I want to have all that I want

I need to

Then I have to cut my addictions loose!

Challenges and +vity

Today I write keeping face. Face of being okay. I should be okay, but I’m not. Everything is going great, almost. I think. But something is nagging at me. Maybe it’s because I know of someone who decided to end their life. Or maybe this past week has had some kind of toil on me; emotional and physical. And when I say “me” I don’t necessarily mean myself, but a few of those I know. I can’t say the week was horrible, it had it’s moments. Some beautiful ones that I don’t think I’ll be able to forget in a while but those very beautiful moments had a reflection to them. Somehow now, there is a hint of sadness attached to them.

Today I listened to words of wisdom. It was a school meeting or more like a counseling session, did I mention that someone committed suicide. Sadly, lately that’s one of the things I’m hearing a lot about. People deciding they can’t take it anymore. They all have their reasons and I don’t want to go down the path of trying to decipher those. It’s not yet the time. I’m not ready to think and fathom it. I mean, many of us have that thought crossing our minds (I have asked a few people) but the actual courage and finality of doing it…again, I don’t want to go there!

Back to the words of wisdom, I made notes in my own words and I want to share them with you. You have probably heard or read them somewhere but that won’t stop me. If you can pick anything or have something within you change for the better, that is more than I can ask for and if not, well that’s also alright. It helps me somehow to put it out there. So…

  1. Sharing a problem = 50% solving it. I love maths so I noted that point as an equation but eh, you do get the point, I hope. The counselors usually say, “Let’s talk about it” and yes, talking helps. In my way, that’s what I’m doing right now. I’m one of those people who never open up about problems even to those close to me but in those rare moments when I do, it feels good. Feels like part of the load is lifted off me. So a problem shared is half solved. If there is someone out there willing to listen, forget that they have or may not have the solution for you but them being there for you will make a difference. Trust me!
  2. Focus on blessings rather than those things don’t like about your life. I’m not at all saying that your live a fallacy and ignore your problems or challenges. Try to solve them. All I’m saying is that you need to appreciate your life and yourself. Where you’ve been, where you are and where your dreams (that you aim to fulfil) will take you. Let’s enjoy what we are and live out our lives instead of being a bunch of complaining humans. Sometimes these little things (such as complaints of what we don’t have, what we are not and negative energies) put us and the people around us in a sombre and depressing mood and we don’t want that!
  3. You’re not the authors of your life and thus you might not fully understand what transpires in it. This is more from a faith point of view. Everything happens for a reason. I’ve always believed that and that has gotten me over a couple of huddles. We don’t always have to understand and have the answer to “why?” Sometimes we have to live and anticipate for what’s next instead of playing creator, juror and all those powerful stances. Unless you’re the author of a story or a poem, you can never fully understand the meaning and entire feeling behind the words. To every individual, the same story plays out differently but only the author has it right.
  4. Knowledge without wisdom has no value. The motto of my primary school was/is “Knowledge is Power” and over the years, I’ve believed that. But this has changed for me. Or maybe the statement just was incomplete. Not long ago, a certain someone said, “Knowledge is only potential power, and unless that potential is realised, knowledge is useless.” Don’t quote me on that, I’m not sure if those were the exact words but that’s what I picked and remember. Point is, knowledge alone isn’t enough. Wisdom, resilience, intellect and many other virtues (I’m thinking empathy, didn’t want to mention it because it’s all over my previous blog post) but all the good things there is with knowledge could make the greatest weapon. I guess to me it means that we need to use the things we know for the good.
  5. For whatever challenge you’re facing, you’re not the first and neither will you be the last. The person who said that apologized for it kind of comes out rude, but yes that is the reality. People have been there and they have gone through it. You can learn from them, I mean if they could take it, then why not you. Let the challenges be spring boards for us to rise and help others rise. I mean, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
  6. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another – Proverbs 27:17 It’s only natural that we always try to help one another. In this life there will always be a point when you’ll need some help or another needing yours. And who are we of we can’t do the least for those we walk the earth with. I’m not at all claiming to be a saint or the kindest person, but just a truth, being kind and helpful won’t hurt of you do it when you can. Once in a while go out of your way to see someone else happy or okay or better than you found them even if it doesn’t directly benefit you.

I’m sure there was a lot more wisdom said, but this is what I majorly picked out and decided to share. I’m glad I was there. Through all the challenges, some may seem major and others minor but they challenge us all the same. I just hope that they challenge us to be better people.

I’m not always positive but I try. And I want to try with you. So in case you want to share that problem (which I most probably won’t have a solution to but hey, you never know when you’re in luck) don’t hesitate to hit me up. Hit the comments or DM on my social media accounts at the end of my website. And don’t feel shy to do the same for people out there. You never know who could need your ear and blessings of your help. Let’s spread the positivity❤

Reflections 1

It’s been a while since I was last here. Today I’m all about those things I’m usually saying. Well of course this time, as most time it’s about an experience I recently had.

About a week ago, my roommate got mad at me. I was at fault, I really did something silly not to spite her but I got caught up in a lot of things and was in a rush. Okay, this is a summary of what happened: Our door lock got messed up but she had to go to town. So I called a carpenter (not sure if it’s Carpenters who fix locks) who did fix it and then I had to go out. So I locked up the room and had both copies of the newly fixed lock so when she (my roommate) got back, I wasn’t around and she called, very exhausted and it dawned on me that she had no where to go. She was very mad, I could hear it and feel it. I was sad, I’d be sad if someone did that to me.

So when I later got back and gave her a copy, we didn’t talk for the rest of the evening. There was a weight on my chest. Yes go ahead and tell me I should have apologized. That evening I realized that’s one of the hardest things for me to do. Yes I’m horrible and I don’t need to be told twice.

So anyway, before you get all judgy on me, I did apologise in the morning after giving it much thought, weighing my options and trying to ease the thread-snapping tension. She said it was okay. And that should have been the end of it. It was actually. She isn’t acting mad at me and well me…I don’t know what I’m being. Cautious if I may say and laid back. Something just doesn’t feel right with the whole situation, I was in the wrong, I apologized, apology was accepted and yet I feel angry and betrayed. That’s so childish so I’m deciding to write it off because, I have nothing else to do about it and I want it to go away.

What keeps me laid back is the way this while situation went down. She actually broke her phone screen out of anger. That one fact kept me thinking, was it that bad? I mean, I’ve had such a situation happen to me before, I’ve had worse and well in a room with mates, there is usually something that you dislike and I have those, in fact a few incidences have happened in the past and I remember being mad but not this mad. That’s what is pissing me off. We all have bad days and we are all not perfect. I wish I were. I wish I could be the perfect roommate, friend, sister or daughter. A perfect being but I’m not and no one is. I can’t say I didn’t know this in the past but now, I know. And my anger stems from a point of empathy and patience. I can’t say I’m perfect in these virtues but I wish I were and I wish everyone was. But wishes are sometimes a fallacy.

So again, I’m laid back because of the betrayal I feel. It’s that disappointment we get from those we are close to and expect to know that you wouldn’t hurt them intentionally. So it all comes back to my guilt and anger to my self for not being perfect but also to someone who expects me to be but I’m positive all will be good with time. This though has taught me, to try to improve my morality and out of the whole experience, I know that I’m a bit more empathetic and patient and that I need to work on my apologizing game. When the lingering tension wears off, we’ll be back to the happy girlfriends that we actually are. I hope this happens soon. Feeling way better already, hopeful and ready to work on it.

Thank you for reading and sharing my thoughts and taking off this burden. I once read in a novel, this is what it vaguely said: “Characters of a story do not come to life after the author writes but after it’s read.” and that’s exactly what writing is about. Venting and sharing, giving off a part of you to someone else.

Thank you my reader! ❤

Taxi Adventures!

So it’s been quite a while lacking my writing mojo and I’m not entirely sure it back. But who knows, here I am feverish with excitement and just general elation. I’m in one of those happy moods for no reason. Just wait and I see why I’m writing!

So yesterday after a long day of activity (sneek peek: I had gone to parts of Eastern Uganda, Luuka district for a tree planting and conserving programme with some cool people and it was quite an experience, the school children, the natives of Busoga. It was all lovely. I wish I could separately write about that, or may be I can but right now let’s go back to my other social rants) I’m on my way back home and I’m using public transport. The “matatu” taxis!

A 14 passenger taxi in Uganda

I tell you, these vehicles are a whole other adventure. I rarely get into a taxi and there isn’t some adventure already or going to happen. Sometimes, most times they are good adventures and some of those times where it’s the hard luck.

So about last evening, it’s late, around 8:00 pm and I board one of these in town and soon enough it’s filled up and we set off for my destination out of the city. Not to be rude but most times, the people driving these taxis are always breaking all kinds of traffic laws and causing chaos but oh well, guess it all goes up to Organisation and the systems we are in! So this guy( the driver of the taxi) is rushingly driving and he almost runs into a personal vehicle as he joins the road from the parking spot we’d boarded from and a passenger starts by snorting! We continue on silently as the driver goes around and honestly we are only moving around the same place so one of the passenger goes like ” ono omusajja alabika tamanyi jatutwala” meaning that, “This man(the driver) probably doesn’t know where he is taking us” and I have to muff up my giggles. Like huh?! How can someone, a driver of public transport not know where he is taking his passengers. Yes the lady said it in a sarcastic tone and that’s where it was all funny but in his defence, what the lady probably didn’t know was that the roads were one way so he basically had to rotate to get us on to the right route.

Anyway the journey picks up only for us to run into a jam of traffic. And of course this is another one of those very common scenarios in this country around that time and what never ceases to amuse me is the reaction of the passengers. Suddenly there is rumbles and all kinds of comments from the passengers like: “Why did you use this route” and ” Can’t you try to hurry up, we have other things to do” and these sound way more sarcastic in the native language( one I earlier used: Luganda) and so many other complaints and what really makes this an adventure to my mind is that they’re aware he can’t possibly fly the taxi over the traffic or there is probably the same amount of traffic on the other streets. So anyway that’s how the journey continued with the other lady of the “confused driver” periodically throwing complaints to the driver, who well, to be honest isn’t a good one basing on his wreckless almost-encounters but aye, I’m not one to judge!

So basically that’s why I’m writing today, I kept thinking of how funny these trips usually are and immediately wanted to pen it down but was too exhausted on my reach home and I wouldn’t dare write in the real time, I mean, what would I be thinking using my phone in public transport in this country ( that’s equivalent to one telling pick pockets, sometimes inside the taxi or outside that you want it picked😁; one of the hard luck situations) and anyway it had died, out of charge so I just silently and patiently waited to reach home amidst the occasional moments that I was thinking of reliving here!

So here are some of those humorous lines and situations I keep getting into and hearing about!

So it’s a hot day and taxi is full of 14 passengers plus the additional conductor who collects the journey fare and informs the driver of stops to make to off load or load passengers. One of the ladies is sweating profusely and out of luck not by the window and she is waving herself dramatically the she says, “Eh, taxi nga eyokya” “heh, vvamu olinye fridge” the conductor snaps. In translation: The lady, “This taxi is too hot” “you can get off and board a refrigerator” which is cool the conductor replies and I’m controlling myself like some other passengers from an outburst at this harsh sarcasm!

So there is this other time walking by in a Taxi Park and lady wants to board a taxi and the fare according to the signpost in 1000 Uganda Shillings but the conductor calling for passengers is announcing how it is 1500 so the lady asks, “Lwaki otusaba 1500 nga akapande kaliko 1000” “Anti gwe linnya akapande” says the guy calling. What is with these people, no chills! In translation: “Why are you saying the fare is 1500 when the signpost indicates 1000” “Well you can board the signpost” and not the taxi like as if it would take her to her destination. These derisive comments!

And then there is this one I heard: so the journey is almost done and the conductor is collecting money from the passengers, “Muziweleeze” meaning “Send it (the money)” and well some of the passengers do send and a guy at the back sends the money but it’s a tad bit less than the fare required so the conductor is like, “zibulako” meaning “it’s not enough” so the guy replies, “zongeleko” meaning “You add the rest”. Huh, what! What a witty response, LMAO! On such another occasion when the conductor asks for money and there are those kinds of people who don’t pay unless they are going off, so this lady is one of them! The conductor asks for the money and many of us pays so this one lady hasn’t paid and conductor starts to call her out, ” Nyabo asigade” “Ma’am who hasn’t paid” and she ignores him and he calls out again, “Nyabo gwe ali emabega” “Ma’am at the back” and she gives him a scornful as he continues to call her out then she finally snaps, “owaye ngenda kuyita awo kumu’lyango” meaning, “That exit (where you, the condoctor is sitting) is where I’m going to pass on my way out” thus there is no possibility that I will leave the taxi without paying. The unsaid words are always the icing on the cake.

How it all plays out, the sarcasm and implications of these comments always get me giggling and sometimes laughing ( silently at times, anything can come your way in these vehicles like a snap at the teethful young girl giggling or when someone in the taxi, the receiver of the comment isn’t finding it funny) but these never stop to amuse me. Sometimes the long waits in the traffic are less hectic with hefty arguments, sarcastic comebacks and many other things that go on in these public vans and sometimes out or besides like one of those situations when a thief outside the taxi pokes at someone inside and it all happens so fast that something (a purse or phone) is stolen it’s absurd and like I earlier warned, it is not always good adventure. But in the ends there are stories to tell!

I usually look forward to all the humor and the sarcasm and the relations(some rude and aggressive but oh well, that is life) of the people. These are places where all kinds of people meet and I’m just glad that I’m born into a people with a good sense of humor and at times a show of kindness!

You can leave comments of such experience, would love to have some more dosages of laughter! 😁

Right or Happy

It’s never easy making choices

Each turn costs you

You end up making faces

That is life though

I’m having cases

Folly and foe

Decisions and messes

Right or happy

But I hear happy can be short-lived

Guess I have to be sad for a while

To reach greater places

Places of everlasting joy

Wish it all had you.

A Time Away!

So it’s been a while since I’ve written. Tried writing about something last week but realized it wasn’t the right time. It’s not yet that right time for that so I’ll just go on and chant about this today.

So I’ve been doing a recess term of sorts this past five weeks and came here with 19 other people in my class. So it’s been like a camp thing, all away from home (well some have their homes here or near this part of the country). We are in a remote part of the country, well I am studying a science of forestry and you don’t go finding forests in the urban areas (but this can change) so yes! This is where I’ve been humbly aboard. Very much into contact with nature than I have ever been. Breathing fresher air and discovering more about myself and my surroundings in many ways I’m hardly recollecting even half of them.

So it has been a hell of a ride and it rocked all the way, through the ups and downs. I discovered a lot about myself I have to say and a lot about my surroundings and how circumstances change each one of us.

The twenty that went aren’t exactly the same twenty that came back and that may not necessarily be a good or bad thing. It’s just how it is. When we live with people from all parts of the country, different cultures and circumstance puts you together, we study and learn. And learning makes us better people in the long run. Having to see people I usually see for a few hours or non a day for an entire five weeks is something new. This wasn’t the first time we camped and yet to me, it felt like a first. Maybe it’s that kind of place that gives you that feel of a first each time or maybe I was more open and aware of my surroundings.

We worked, studied, played and hanged out together and I got to learn something new, something I’d never noticed before about each one of them. The kindness that had never got a chance to be shown, the hard work and commitment, the care and so much more. Much as some downs came and arguments and tempers, fatigue and irritation rose, it was never permanent and we thrived through it. The strong tides just brought us closer and moments came when all grudges fell beneath us and it was just us doing what we do in common, being people with common interests and togetherness that surprised and warmed me. We watched soccer and raved about it, roasted meat over the same fire and the warmth of friendship filled the air.

The burning embers that softly roasted the meat over the moonlight

And then there was one of my most favorite people featuring (a blush and smile crosses my face) and I could go on about that but oh well I won’t, I’m selfish like that so I won’t share.

The beautiful scenery we shared in awe

But not to forget the essence of the term, I learnt a lot. I could see my self being really useful in the future and somehow much as I would love for time to slow down so that I can enjoy my usually to-die-for moments to the fullest, I’m eager for the future, for what I’ll be and I’m hopeful and eager for it all.

It was a beautiful journey and I appreciate those who were a part of it.

The darling one!

Acceptance finally came

But the pain never went away

The rolling tape of the moments we had shared

And the stillness of your steel-cold self

Lying there

Oblivious to my cries

Oblivious to my touch

In a lifeless slumber

My woes

I begged you to come back

To stay

But you didn’t

The pain stayed

The hurt never left

My heart bled red

In contrast to the paleness of your skin

The whiteness of your lips

My eyes streamed

With each memory

Memories of love

Memories of happiness

Memories of you my dear one

You left me and never returned

But I still hold your memory close to me

The pain never relinquishes

It just reclines, but never to cease

Oh my darling one

How I miss you

That beautiful smile

That beautiful heart

The sorrow you left

In your wake

Breaks my heart

Breaks her heart too

And their hearts too

But we hold you dear

Always

The darling one.

In memory of a young man I once knew, brutally murdered and left out cold in the stillness and anguish of the dark night.

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